Chelie

Once I look up in the mirror I can’t see the reflection of my self. It’s not the girl with bliss in her lips.

Confusions, doubt and anxiousness…

My small eyes are struggling in liquefy substance that in any moment will ready to explode. Confusions for the path that I’m walking, in every bend of the road I stop. Which way I will persist? How if it is not the correct one, I should renege?

Doubt for my own capability that time will come that I can’t give any valuable moments for someone. Anxiousness is the consequence of my broken promises.

Before a child who sketched her own life, whose fascinated to the world of dreams using her colored pastel. Guidelines, restrictions and principles the unfinished book that written by a young girl. I opened my heart to everyone; my poems are my journal, the pain, aspiration, affection and merriment.

I followed the rule of business; long and short term relationships the risk is failure. During the boom I run, unexplainable or maybe insanity. Which things I frightened? To be committed in neither my entire life nor they failed for my expectations.

As a fighter of my own idealism, who believed that “Love” is explained by hope, faith and charity. Giving “HOPE” to the individuals who needed me most. A “FAITH” for the dreams of young girl pieces, and “CHARITY” for every help I can give either quality or quantity.

A humanist with a wounded “soul” and having a heart broke in a million pieces. In a war that I declared nearly to surrender, should I continue my battle?

Why and what went wrong? Perhaps I’m not good enough behind of all this. I never ask in returned, what should I get but nothing.

Again, I can’t see my face clearly. It’s only an image of a lady who thought that she’s tough enough and egoistic for her self.

Searching for the real I am is now my own battle for my self, if I will win the real bliss in my lips will see again.